20 weeks today!  We've made it to the halfway point and are well on our way to April.  This all still seems a little surreal to me.  There have been days that I'm sure that I've felt the baby, but it just felt like someone gently flicking me from the inside.  I appreciate those days.  They give me a sense of comfort that this is all real and that the baby is okay.  Then there's been days when I suspect that I may have felt something, but I'm not sure if it was the baby or indigestion.  Those days happen more often than the others.  In fact, I've been on a streak of those for a few days now.  Those are the days that I have to remember to lean on my faith and trust that God is taking care of things.  I'm looking forward, though, to more constantly feeling the baby move around, and knowing more definitely that that's what it is.  I think this whole thing will really start setting in, then.

Those of you on Facebook know that I had a bit of a rant about my doctors' office and the staff that works there.  My next appointment is scheduled for Monday morning.  Adam is coming with me, mostly because I'm so frustrated and stressed out with them, but partially because we are both hoping that, by some stroke of luck, they might decide to do an ultrasound, after all.  At the very least, I'd like to have the famed "20-week ultrasound" sometime before we see family for Christmas (at which point I'll already by 23 weeks.).  It's hard enough with all these pregnancy hormones to keep my cool when people ask what I'm having or when I'll find out, but I know that the family will all want to know when they see us, too.

Other than that, I'm still met with mixed emotions.  Some days, I'm very excited to meet our little offspring.  If you know me, you know that I love kids and have always done something that was related to children in some respect.  I don't doubt that I'll do fine.  However, there are other days when I have the house to myself, no where to go, and the only noises to worry about are the crazy winds and wondering if our patio furniture (of which we only actually have a table and swing, both acquired from friends that just couldn't fit them in the truck when they moved) are going to make it.  Those are the days that I get nervous that I'll never have this again.  I like cuddling with my husband on the couch (partially because we're really cheap and our house is FREEZING at night :)).  I like being able to go places on a moment's notice and not having to worry about getting home at a specific time.  I know they say that you're pregnant for nine months to get used to the idea.  I'm not sure that nine months is going to cut it :-p.  

Don't get me wrong.  Adam and I both wanted this baby.  It wasn't a surprise, really.  At the time, it seemed like it was taking forever for this pregnancy to happen, but now that there's no turning back, I just get a little anxious.  Adam's doing great.  He keeps telling me how fun it's going to be to have a little baby to play with and hold.  I don't know if he's nervous and just being strong for me or if he's really as cool and calm as he's letting on.  Regardless, it's nice to have his reassurance.  

Anyway, size wise, I'm really starting to grow, now.  I actually look pregnant, which is kind of fun since now anybody would know that and I don't have to question whether or not people think I'm just gaining weight, anymore :-p.  The lady at Gap asked me if this was my first without confirming that I was, in fact, pregnant (though I was carrying my TheBump.com gift bag from The Price Is Right and buying baby clothes).  The UPS guy probably put two and two together after delivering a crib to our house and seeing me yesterday, too.  However, I do admit that it is a little more fun (and real) when I'm showing more.  I'm bracing myself for unsolicited belly rubbing.  I don't mind when people I know do it, but it'll probably creep me out if strangers go in for a feel.  

So that's that, I guess.   Those are my baby related thoughts and emotions in a nutshell.  I haven't had any of the dreaded symptoms most people warn about (nausea, stretch marks, etc.).  I went through the first trimester SUPER tired, but that's gone (for now) and I'm on to getting hungrier more often.  That, however, is a symptom I don't at all mind :).  Other than that, it's been pretty smooth sailing.  Thanks again for all your prayers, support, excitement, and encouragement.  It has really been a huge help and an even bigger blessing!